One Day in 2070
Play Script Anthology
Written and performed by Kamillah Ahmed, Khodor El-Rahab, and anonymous
[Billie, Alex, and Ellie walk on stage in a line. Each one of them is in their bedrooms. Billie is sitting playing computer games, Alex is doing some stretches and exercises, Ellie is lying down playing on her phone.]
Billie: What is this? I’m getting a telepathic phonecall. [He puts his fingers to the side of his head.]
Hello there Timmy! Yeah, I’m doing good – just playing on my Playstation 64… oh yeah, yeah, the maths homework. Erm yeah, about the maths homework… I bunked that lesson ‘cause I hate that teacher so, er yeah… yeah I can come to your birthday later – see you in a bit.
[Billie goes back to playing his game]
Alex: [Puts her fingers to her head] Hi Timmy, yeah I can come to your birthday, I’ll be there in a bit.
But we er have that competition tomorrow too don’t we? ... Yeah, okay, bye.
[Alex goes back to stretching.]
Ellie: [Puts her fingers to her head] Hey? Ah Timmy, happy birthday! Did you have a good day so far?
… Ah good good. What did you get? … Ah nice you’re gonna have fun then! … Oh yeah, what time should I come? Oh right I’ll be there in a minute!
[Ellie, Alex, and Billie start getting ready to go out.]
Billie: Bobby? Bobby?! [Calls out to the rest of the house] Right er I’m stealing your teleporter. You had it yesterday so… screw you! Wait a minute… was it 56 Trafalgar Road or 57? I can’t remember.. ahhh [dials in a number in a keypad.]
[Whilst Billie is talking Ellie and Alex have also been preparing their own teleporting machines. Billie, Alex, and Ellie all three still in a line shake, stir, and finally jump and land together, arrived in their destination]
Billie: Happy birthday Tim- wait a minute? [He looks around, confused] What is this place? This isn’t Timmy’s house. [He looks around some more until he sees Alex and Ellie] Huh? Who are you two?
Alex: I’m Alex
Ellie: Who are you?!
Billie: I’m Billie, I’m Timmy’s best friend. I was just going to his birthday ‘cause er well it’s his birthday. Today so I was going to his house.
Ellie and Alex: Same
Alex: Where are we?
Billie: Hmm let’s think er it’s just a big bright room, I don’t know where this is. Knowing him, this is probably one of his pranks.
[All three of them wander round calling out Timmy’s name]
Billie: We know it’s a prank, you can come out now! Hmm I don’t think he’s coming… it’s probably just one of his escape rooms. We just have to find a key, and a door, and we can get out of here
Alex: But there’s nothing here…
Ellie: And his room is not this big…
Billie: Hmm you’re right…
Alex: Oh look, what’s that!
[All three of them gather round a spot on the floor]
Ellie: It’s a button
Billie: Well it’s the only thing in here, so do you want to press it?
Ellie: I’m not pressing it!
Alex: Argh, I wanna get out of here [she then goes to press the button]
Ow! [Alex suddenly pulls away and stands up]
Ellie: Are you alright?!
Billie: What happened?
Alex: argh it hurts, it hurts!
Billie: I told you we should have found the key – and the door!
Ellie: [Looks at Billie sternly] There’s no key. There’s no door.
[Alex suddenly shakes, stirs, and jumps as the other two are bickering]
Ellie: Er… Alex?
Alex: [In a robotic voice from here until they get out of the void] I am not Alex. I am the Void Master.
Billie: [Turns to the audience and puts his arms out] She’s possessed!
Alex: To get out of here, you need to follow me. [Alex starts walking off stage down the aisle of the audience]
Ellie: [Directed at Billie] Are we going?!
Billie: I mean, it’s the only thing we can do…
[Ellie and Billie follow Alex/the Void Master down to the end of the audience and back round to the stage.]
Ellie: Where are we going?! This is crazy
Billie: It’s all just a vast emptiness, what is this place – what’s here!
[Now walk back onto stage, suddenly stopping at a cliff edge]
Ellie: Exactl- Oh my god, what is that!
Billie: It’s a cliff! It goes down like a hundred-million feet. Erm, what are you asking us to do?
Alex: You guys need to jump
Billie: Erm, it’s not like I don’t believe you or anything… but er… he’s my best friend and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t live at the bottom of a cliff... we’re going to die if we jump down there.
Alex: There’s no gravity in the void.
Ellie: I am NOT jumping off a cliff. Why would Timmy be at the bottom of a cliff.
Alex: He’s down there guys, trust me. Come on, we need to go. [Alex comes in between the two, takes their hands and makes them all jump.]
Billie and Ellie: Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
[Billie and Ellie hands in the air, Alex still robotic until they all hit the floor with a thump. They wait a second, then slowly get up and look around.]
Billie: Wha – Timmy’s house!
Ellie: We’re not dead!
Alex: [Looking round even more confused than the other two] Where are we? What happened?
Billie: [Turns to look at Alex]. Oh erm… it’s a long story.
[Looks at his watch] And err… we’re like six hours late. Shall we go and wake him up?
Alex and Ellie: Yes!
[All three of them creep behind the curtains, then shout from off stage.]
Alex, Ellie, and Billie: [simultaneously] HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIMMY!